


Reason to Stay

by MacLovin98



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Broken, Established Relationship, Heartbreak, M/M, Relationship of Convenience, Unhealthy Relationships, reason to stay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26267302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MacLovin98/pseuds/MacLovin98
Summary: Derek and Stiles have been together for over five years, but as the years passed like days. Stiles comes to a realisation that he can’t continue like this.Inspired by the song Reason to Stay by Sody
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Kudos: 39





	Reason to Stay

I don’t know how it came to this. It’s like watching a car crash in slow motion, and you’re in complete shock and disgust, but yet you can’t seem to take your eyes off the wreckage. Since I was 17, I believed wholeheartedly that Derek and I were soul mates, but now I can see that what I thought was love was a colossal need for comfort and protection.

This is not saying we never loved each other, of course, we did, but if I am honest, I always felt that he and I were on two different paths that happened to cross at the same intersection. We’ve been together so long that I think we just became too comfortable and settled before we knew who we were. I do believe it was all my doing, from the first kiss I attached myself to Derek like a barnacle with no reason to detach. Hell, I didn’t even go to college because I thought he would forget me. My insecurities got the better of me. 

I hate it when I blame myself, even more, when I start to cry. I hate myself, even more, when I look at Derek and see in his eyes that I’m not what he wants any longer. 

Sunday we usually hang out together with no interferences. What started as a reason to stay in bed all day long to talk and memorise each other completely quickly turned into us sitting in separate ends of our apartment with me in our office as I work on my laptop whilst Derek reads in the kitchen. The furthest he can get away from me. We can’t live like this anymore.

As I walk to the kitchen, my heart starts to break as I know this is the beginning of the end. 

When I walk into the kitchen, I see Derek in grossed in his book and didn’t even notice that I had entered the room. 

“Derek” followed by only silence; I say “Derek” a little louder.

“What?” he grunts without removing his head from his book.

“I think we need to talk,” I said, still loitering in the doorway.

“You think, or you know?” he asks whilst flipping the page of his book.

I decide, fuck it just rip the band-aid off, “I think it’s time we end this, it’s not working anymore” Derek caught off guard drops his book and snaps his head in my direction.

“WHAT?” he exclaims.

“This is not working anymore, and we can’t keep pretending,” I say, I see the confusion in his eyes.

He rushes to me trapping me to the wall, “Stiles I don’t understand where this has come from, we’re fine” he says, searching my eyes like he’s trying to read my mind.

“That’s the problem. We’re fine. Fine, that’s it. I can see you want more and so do I we deserve to find that. Separately” I finished softly.

“I don’t understand what can I do? How can I fix this?” he says.

“We’re already broken. There’s nothing left to break” I said softly, I could feel the tears hitting my cheek. I looked up into Derek’s eyes which showed hurt and sadness. “I hate how you look at me. I know I’m not what you want anymore and that’s fine, but we can’t keep doing this dance. I need to leave, and you have given me no reason to stay,” I say, slipping out from his grasp heading to our bedroom to collect the bags I had pre-packed this morning. I grab them and go to turn to see Derek right behind me. 

“You’re just walking away. After five years, this is it. Can’t we fix this? I know I can do better. We can fix this” he said, desperately grabbing my neck with both hands like he hoped if I continued to stare at him, I would falter. 

“Derek, you think you love me, but you love the idea of me. The idea of us. The idea of forever. But we were never on the same path, and we’re not in the same place. We haven’t been close for over a year. Hell, the last time we had sex was eight months ago and that only happened because you wanted comfort on the anniversary of your family’s death. During it, you didn’t even look at me. Be honest what were you thinking about because I know it wasn’t me” I said, staring straight into his eyes. 

“Stiles,” he says softly, “don’t do this to me; I need you.”

“Derek need and love are two different things, and I can’t continue in this trapped cycle. I need someone who loves every part of me, and I love every part of them I need someone who looks at me like I am bloody Iron Man coming to rescue them from arms dealers” I say the last part with a soft chuckle until I see Derek more confused than ever.

“So, you want me to be Iron Man?” he said in a confused tone.

“No! that wasn’t the point. The point is you look to me for stability, comfort even protection. You look at me like I am the easy option. You don’t look at me like you couldn’t live without me,” I say pushing past him and out of the bedroom door.

“I love you!” he says coming after me. 

I turn so suddenly that Derek almost collides with me, “I love you Derek, don’t think I don’t but we aren’t IN love. I don’t think we ever were. Can you honestly say you are IN love with me,” he was met with silence and Derek’s head drops, “See? I can’t say I’m sorry because if I’m honest I’m not. I’m leaving and I’m not coming back. I would stay if you could give me a reason to but you can’t so I have to leave and do what’s best for me” I say turning on the spot and quickly putting down my key on the console table before exiting the apartment I’ve lived in for over 4 years. I rush downstairs to my jeep and collapse in a heap in the driver’s seat and call the only person who knows how to comfort me.

The phone picks up after the third ring. “Scott,” I say as my voice cracks, “I did it. We’re done. I don’t know what to do now” I cry as tears stream down my face. 

“Aw Stiles. Buddy, now it’s time for you to live. Do all the things you want!” he says. 

Change is never easy, but you can’t stay in a situation that’s not doing your mental health any favours. How could the fearless become so afraid? The hardest decisions should scare you but don’t let that be a reason for you to stay.


End file.
